You know forgiveness is central to the gospel and as such, is one of the most important values we can teach our children. As part of God’s wonderful (and often exhausting) design for parenting, there is no shortage of opportunities to teach forgiveness, whether it is one sibling snatching a toy from another, a child disobeying you or your spouse, or even you losing your temper with your children.
What an incredible opportunity we have to model and describe God’s love to our children. We wanted to share a few ideas that we pray will enhance your parenting toolkit.
1. Talking with your kids about asking for forgiveness
In the moment, when emotions are high, it can be helpful to have an acronym for your child to reference as a guide in asking for forgiveness. We like the acronym CAT since it’s short and easy for young ones to remember. Here’s an example of using it when a child has taken a toy from their sibling:
C - Confess. “I took your toy from you without asking.”
A - Apologize. “I’m sorry, will you please forgive me?”
T - Take action to change. “Next time, I will ask you if I can play with your toy.”
Often, we see two scenarios play out when coaching a child on asking for forgiveness. The first scenario is that the child won’t admit that they did something wrong. It’s possible that they truly don’t understand that their actions were hurtful. It might take some time to talk with them about empathizing and recognizing that what they did was wrong.
The second scenario is a child feels extremely guilty and is overwhelmed with asking for forgiveness. This might take a different approach by explaining that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23),” which is why Jesus came down from heaven to save us.
2. Talking with your kids about forgiving
The other side of the coin is teaching your children to forgive. Usually, younger kids find it easier to forgive and move on. Their feelings of frustration pass pretty quickly. But, as kids grow older, hurts can run deeper and they might hold a grudge. When a child is angry and refuses to forgive, we can point them to the gospel to change their heart. Talk with them about how Christ paid for their sins on the cross and because of His sacrifice, their sins are forgiven. God forgives them when they don’t deserve it and in light of that, they should forgive others.
Parenting can be hard and exhausting, but there is no other role like it. What a gift children are and so is the opportunity given to us to share God’s ways and His goodness. We hope this email blesses you.